Codependent relationships can be a shortcut to lifelong addiction issues. These relationships are often very emotional and damaging to both parties involved. Codependency, by itself, is a condition that affects a person’s ability to have normal relationships in their life. As one of the top substance abuse treatment centers in Columbus OH, our counselors at Legacy Freedom often see that this codependence is a learned behavior, typically from their parents or guardians.
Codependent relationships generally refer to addicts and their partners, but the term can really be applied to anyone that meets the same criteria. You do not have to be a substance abuser to take, and take, and take without remorse, and codependents can be anyone that bases their own self-worth on their ability to give and give. These types of personalities are often drawn together like magnets, which is unfortunate.
Codependent relationships are toxic because no one can give all their time without getting anything positive back in return. On the same hand the addict in the relationship will never be forced to take responsibility for their own actions because their partner is always there to pick them up and fix their problems. In turn, the "fixer" is often at risk of developing their own substance abuse problems because of the amounts of stress they're under as well as being around someone with an addiction issue all the time.
Relationships are hard enough even without addiction problems getting in the way. If you're reading this and you constantly find yourself banging your head against the wall trying to fix your partner's addiction problems, while being frustrated with your addicted partner's flippant attitude, then you might be in a codependent relationship.
Here are a few signs to look for if you think you might be in a codependent relationship.
Boundary Problems - People stuck in codependent relationships have problems with boundaries. For most people, saying "no" is hard; this is especially true for the codependent. Since codependent people are “givers”, they very rarely say no because they feel like they will no longer be needed in the relationship. Giving in and saying "yes" to everything is detrimental to positive relationship building and sometimes lines have to be drawn in the sand. Rules and consequences must be clear.
Too Much Sacrifice - If you find yourself putting everyone else’s needs above your own, and sacrificing all the things that you really enjoy, only to do something you cannot stand for your partner, whether it be illegal or not, you might be a codependent.
Self Worth Issues - If you think that your own self worth is defined by other people, or that you are only as worthy as other people think you are then you could be a codependent person.
Control Problems - If you have no control over your own life because you validate your own existence by what others think about you might fall into the codependent category.
The Cause of Other People's Emotions - Do you feel that you're the reason for your partner's happiness, sadness, or anger. If something goes wrong do you always blame yourself? Do you constantly overanalyze what you have done, or not done, and feel that is what's making your partner feel that way?
Poor Communication Skills - Codependents really do not like conflict and they will avoid it at every step of the relationship. Codependents also do not really talk about how they actually feel and will keep it all bottled up inside.
Scared of Being Rejected - Nobody wants to be rejected, it's simply human nature; but it is also a part of life. People that are codependent will avoid being rejected at all costs.
If you find yourself falling into one of the categories then please call us today.
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Legacy Freedom Columbus can help you rebound back to sobriety. We are here so you can get your life back on track. We're one of the top substance abuse treatment centers in Columbus OH. If you are ready to be sober again, call us today. We will do everything we can to help you kick your substance abuse problem.